1. STOP BLAMING BLACKS, you fucking pricks.
Blacks are only 6.2% of the California population. Considering the degree to which blacks in California are disenfranchised (primarily through being disproportionately locked up in California’s concentration camp prison system), THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY BLACKS WERE A LARGE ENOUGH PORTION OF THE ELECTORATE TO EITHER PASS OR NOT PASS PROP 8. Go read this by-the-numbers analysis, and then let’s move on to the next point:

2. What the FUCK is with going after blacks when way more Latinos and Asians voted for Prop 8? Hey, waita second, what the FUCK is with going after people of color when way more white people voted for Prop 8 than members of any of those groups? In other words, what the fuck is the point of racializing homophobia? White people started that shit. Prop 8 is the result of a problem with white people.

3. Do you want to get at the “common denominator” of homophobia and Prop 8? Then look at fucking religion. You may recall our post about Dealing with Christian Privilege - well, now’s the time to take a stand: Religious assholes no longer get a free pass to be shithead jackoff scumwads just because doing so is part of their pious little practice. Fundies, Mormons, Catholic fundies, the Jerry Falwell types - hey, guess what, THEY’RE THE PROBLEM. Instead of asking why so many black people are homophobic, let’s ask why so many white people are homophobic. Or, as Crooks and Liars put it:

Sorry, LDS and Catholic Churches, let me pull out my tiny violin for you. You have used the tenets of your faith to infringe upon my secular government to take away rights from people, and I’m supposed to feel bad that protests are targeting you?

Don’t take the bait. Bourgeois liberals seem to be in a contest to out-pacify, out-irrelevant, and out-do-nothing each other: “We’ll just stand reaaaaally still, see, and not say a word, and somehow this will magically teach the people who are hellbent on erasing the few civil liberties we have left that it’s really all about love.” Yeah, uh, y’know what? That didn’t work so great for eight fucking years of Bush and war, did it? Oh, and y’know what else? It’s too bad if your Catholic grandmother’s feelings are hurt for a couple days. THERE ARE PEOPLE BEING RELEGATED TO SECOND CLASS STATUS HERE. If you use a church to organize and fund a nation-wide campaign on a ballot initiative, guess what? You get called on it. And if that same church has a history of racism and abusing women and electrocuting gay kids, guess what? You’re really gonna get called on it. That’s not hate. That’s following the money and the volunteer hours.

The problem is really no different in black churches. Jesse Jackson - whoa, man - has some serious issues. But let’s not be stupid. Just as there are queer Mormons (now if that isn’t a shitty way to exist, I don’t know what is), there are queer blacks. Oooh, shocking. If you’re not an idiot, you already knew this, because teh gay, it is everywhere. Whatever the historical reasons for condemning gay love - oppression, criminalizing of sexuality in general - the single most powerful institution working to maintain homophobia today in America is the Christian church.

Let’s repeat that for the slow kids:

The single most powerful institution working to maintain homophobia today in America is the Christian church.

And we really don’t want to hear “some Christians are gay! Some Christians aren’t homophobic!” Yeah, uh, no shit. Go back and work on your Christian privilege right here. That’s not the issue. The problem is that so many Christians and non-fuckwitted types continue to give the hate campaigns a free pass to organize and teach homophobic bullshit in your own backyard just because it’s religion - ALL WITHOUT PAYING TAXES. It’s the state sanctioning religiously-motivated discrimination. Fuck that. I’m done allowing that. Aren’t you?

Links:
Affirmation.org: Gay and Lesbian Mormons

Mormons Stole Our Rights

Join the Impact: Nationwide Protests in All 50 States Saturday, Nov 15!

No on 8

Let us know about any more links we should put up.

All you need to know: Colin Powell brilliantly sums up everything about this election and why he’s splitting with the GOP on this. The man speaks in full sentences. It’s so refreshing.

Also, finally: Believing in Islam isn’t actually a HEINOUS ANTI-AMERICAN CRIME, and if you think it is, you’re the one betraying America, asshole.

There is something so unbelievably adorable about the way Hayden Panettiere (of the dolphin-saving video) says “fuck.”

Awwwwwwwww! She is just so stinkin’ cute!

On a related note, but this one interactive, you must visit palinaspresident.com. See if you can find Katie Couric being waterboarded just outside the Oval Office. Yowch!

Okay, finally: RUDE PUNDIT, WHOEVER YOU ARE, WE LOVE YOU!

“You lost, man, you lost because all the shit you been shoveling into a giant pile has finally tipped over and covered you in turds. I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. Right here, right now, I’m take out this skull. You see it? You know whose skull it is? It’s Ronald Reagan’s. And now I’m gonna take out my dick and fuck his skull, right in his eyehole where his lying-ass twinkling eyeballs used to be. Watch me fuck the Gipper’s skull, man, watch me turn it into my bony bitch. Damn, that was good fuckin’. And then, once I’m president, I’m gonna get Milton Friedman’s skull and fuck the shit out of that. And I’m gonna get William Rehnquist’s skull and fuck it. And then I’m gonna get William F. Buckley’s skull, even if it’s still got meat on it, and I’m gonna fuck it in the mouth. I’m gonna skull fuck all those people who turned this country into a bullshit version of what it was. Shit, I’m gonna fuck Dick Cheney’s skull while he’s still using it, maybe get Joe Biden to double team it with me, fuckin’ his skull until his poisoned fuckin’ heart explodes.

Thanks, man!

I mean, how much of this shit do we gotta post before the fuckwads will man up and admit it? Look, all you have to say is something like: “Yeah, okay, so really? We fucking hate black people, and that’s why we’re Republicans. We think McCain is going to forget how to tie his shoes before he does anything productive for the economy, but we’d rather have the good ‘ol drooler than an A-rab or a Negro.”

I mean seriously: who actually thinks the Republican “base” is made up of economists or policy experts? You want a civil war? Really? Think real fuckin’ hard about that one, paste-eater.

We took a break from binge drinking so that we might witness at least one civic-y moment in this election with the startling clarity of sobriety.

And that is the last time we will do so.

The new thing I learned about Barack Obama is that he actually wants the American people to understand what’s being done to us. He took the time, and risked Tom Brokaw’s weirdly ragey reminders about time, to address the lies and attacks that the wheezy little corpse threw at him, and he still managed to give cogent, sensible explanations for how the fiscal crisis impacts The Rest Of Us and how energy policy is related to national security. The times that Obama got testy were time times that the crusty little wolf playing a pious little sheep wheezed three tons of lies into the room. Obama didn’t have to make stupid jokes that fell flat. He just had to clear up the bullshit, and he did. He’s a leader and an educator. I like that.

Now, onto making fun of assholes. ONE WOULD THINK, after the internets practically set themselves on fire yesterday with reports of increasingly violent racial slurs at the Klan rallies that comprise McCain-Palin appearances, that Johnny McRage’s handlers would have reminded him to refer to Barack as “Senator Obama” and not “that one“. One would think. Apparently not.

Photoshop break!

“That one” happened about an hour after McCain told a younger black questioner, in his condescending little shriveled-prick voice punctuated with wheezes, that the man “probably [didn't] know who Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac” were. Again, the internets freaked out, as I watched people on Twitter just about tl;dr themselves off a building. From Cenk Uygur’s post at HuffPo:

For me, the more worrisome moment of the debate came when McCain told a young, black questioner, “You’ve probably never heard of Fannie Mae.” We were doing play-by-play of the debate on our website and I shouted out, “Why not? Why wouldn’t he have heard of Fannie Mae?”

Would McCain really have said the same thing to an older, white questioner? It seems unlikely. Of course, it’s nearly impossible to separate out age, race and whatever else is going through McCain’s head at that moment. Can I say definitively that McCain said that because of the person’s race? No, I definitely can’t. But that was a moment for me that was more loaded with racial possibility than his reference to “that one.”

But listen, everyone, it gets better. As The Littlest Troll that Could realized “That One” hadn’t paid McCain’s old veteran whitey ass the proper deference that a little colored boy should, and had fully beat his wheezy ass instead, McCain actually declined to shake Obama’s hand. Don’t believe it? Watch. Also, as one Twitterer noted last night, Cindy McCain was looking shockingly ex-stripper like. Compared to her, Michelle Obama looked downright maternal.

Which is sort of who-cares but sort of awesome, but hey, it’s becoming increasingly clear that McCain-Palin are, no really, giant fucking ass-backwards redneck bigots who are capable of  leading only a pitchfork-toting lynch mob of illiterate, angry white racists to go burn crosses on black families’ lawns.

Wonkette’s commentary on the above video was as follows:

Okay, so here’s a video of the after-debate handshakes between the Walnuts and the Baracks, and Obama, always the grown-up gentleman figure, offers his hand to McCain’s, and he brushes it away and shoves Cindy at him! As Newell summarized McCain’s gesture, ““Here, you want a hand to shake? Shake the cunt’s.” In the clip, Blitzer is all, “Yeah, it’s obvious that McCain has a certain disdain for Obama.”  That’s because McCain is presumptuous and is offended that the young brown whipper-snapper is smarter than him, nicer than him, tougher than him, quicker than him, prettier than him, blacker than him, human-er than him, and more honorable of a man than him.

Then we have our favorite slam dunk of the night:

Obama: Well, you know, Sen. McCain, in the last debate and today, again, suggested that I don’t understand. It’s true. There are some things I don’t understand.

I don’t understand how we ended up invading a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, while Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda are setting up base camps and safe havens to train terrorists to attack us.

(transcript courtesy Crooks & Liars)

Realizing this, John & Hooker McCorpse got the hell out of dodge. From Break the Terror:

What?  So apparently you miss things when you don’t watch C-SPAN.  Ken Layne was live-blogging and he has video of that godawfully pissy bitch moment when John McCain said “heh heh heh, and you know who voted for it?  THAT ONE” or whatever, but what’s interesting is his live-blog after the debate was over.  Apparently Cindy & John McCain just fucking tucked tail and ran, while Michelle & Barack Obama stayed around, and it basically turned into a “private party of supporters.”

So, Foxy News types had to come up with some kind of excuse. If you heard any talking heads on any network post-debate, they all mentioned at some point that McCain was supposed to pwn this one because he was the great Mavericky Maverick of the Town Hall Format. Except that Wheezy McWalnuts sucked ass. So get this: the idiots are blaming the format for McCain’s suckage. I’d like to point out that McCain has tried to dodge debates, obviously tried to get formats that he thought favors him, and each time there’s Obama, just coolly waiting, biding his time, saying, “Ready whenever you are, John,” while McCain flaps around and practices his bomb jokes that his handlers can’t get him to quit making. Love it.

With every debate, the Rude Pundit likes to give his version of how Obama or Biden really ought to answer the really asinine, idiot-baiting questions. From today’s would-be transcript, we get what Obama’s answer to that Bill Ayers bullshit should be. Some highlights:

“Oh, fuck me, really? Okay, fine. You want me to talk about this shit? Here ya go: he’s a dude on my street who held a coffee get-together for me years ago when I was gonna run to be the state senator of his ‘hood. And we served at the same time on the board of the Woods Fund. You know what the Woods Fund does? It tries to help community organizers in Chicago get shit done for the poor, you know, like education, housing, and jobs. Now, Sarah Palin may think that community organizers don’t do jack shit, but we did the work the government wouldn’t or couldn’t do. So, yeah, Ayers was there. But ‘pal around’ with him? Motherfucker, we followed Robert’s Rules of Order together. Maybe for people who scream at and abuse their friends that counts as being ‘pals,’ but for most of us, it ain’t even an ‘acquaintance.’ Dude, Johnny, you signed a confession that degraded America when you were over in ‘Nam. And I’m the traitor?

“So you can have your Muppet-sounding idiot VP bitch out there in front of crowds, talkin’ smack about me and gettin’ people to yell, ‘Kill him,’ and you can try to convince everyone I’m a terrorist. …But you know and I know that you’re desperate. Motherfucker, you tied yourself to Reagan and Bush and now that ideology is sinkin’ like cement shoes on a mob snitch. Drown, motherfucker, drown.

“And you’re in the shit now. ‘Cause I’ve been waitin’ for this moment, you fuckin’ senile old fuck. I was waitin’ until I could see the whites of your twitchy fuckin’ eyes to pull the trigger on the Keating Gatling gun I’ve been holdin’. You wanted to take the gloves off. Then why are your hands shakin’, bitch? You can send your people out there to say that you were cleared, but the name sticks, doesn’t it? ‘Keating Five’? I wasn’t gonna go there, but you teed up the ball. I just swung the fuckin’ club. Now, lemme ask you somethin’. What’s more important - that some guy who did some shit four decades ago once said, ‘Hi’ to me or that you are one of the reasons that the federal government had to bail out the savings and loan industry? Moral equivalence doesn’t work, does it, Johnny Mac?

Read the rest of the rudeness here.